Friday, 22 January 2010

Things Alaskans like: Hunting Moose

Things Alaskans Like is my serial  attempt to itemize all the things Alaskans like. This will serve as a guide for non Alaskans to pretend to be an Alaskan, or make Alaskan friends. All Alaskans like things that Alaskans like.

One thing people tend to underestimate is how much Alaskans like hunting moose. Alaskans really, really like to hunt moose. If you meet an Alaskan, try talking about hunting moose. Even people who don't have moose want to hunt moose. Many people on the north slope look forward to having many moose, thanks to global warming, so they can hunt them too.

If you are new to Alaska, you cannot hunt moose for a year. Instead, try talking about having hunted moose in the states. Alaskans do not recognize how hunting works in the states, and will believe just about anything you say about it.

Hunting moose is generally recognized as a good excuse for missing work, school, jury duty, weddings, funerals, and birthdays. Some clever Alaskans combine hunting moose with weddings, or in some rare cases, funerals. Therefore, no one has to miss hunting moose.

Causing an Alaskan to miss hunting moose is considered cause for starting a fight. Causing an Alaskan to miss hunting moose also a reasonable excuse for quitting one's job, remaining unemployed, or getting a divorce. In general, Alaska judges award all assets to the party who was forced to miss hunting moose, in a divorce. This may not be enshrined in Alaskan law, however. But it is generally recognized as fair.

Do not dress up as a moose when other Alaskans are hunting moose.


Allmycke said...

In Sweden the year is divided into two seasons - Before the moose hunt and After the moose hunt.
Teachers (and others)take a week off for hunting as if it's their by-God-given right to do so - and female collegaues had better be ready to fill in for them...
Silly? Yes, in the extreme - especially since so many spend that whole week without getting a bead on a single animal!

Arvay said...

You should point out that Alaskans only like hunting moose legally and conservatively. Poaching and wanton waste do not go over well. Jeff King had to donate $50,000 to the Iditarod to purchase back some goodwill from the people after being convicted of poaching. It was a shrewd and clever move, because Alaskans love dogsled races!

TwoYaks said...

Correction! "Alaskans Like Knowing Mushing Exists." They don't actually like living near mushers. Or meeting mushers. Or being downwind of them. But they're glad they exist! ;)

I have "Knowing Mushers Exist" on my list. Along with "Hanging Thermometers" and a few other things. :p

But more seriously, yeah. Wanton waste is a great way to become very hated very quickly. Poaching... well, I wish poaching was more frowned upon. That would solve a lot of our problems... :/

Cate said...

You are so funny. :)