Moose on the loose

A moose decided to check out UAA's student union. Some suggested captions:

1. Hey buddy, aren't you a little young to be taking college classes?
2. More proof the university doesn't really care about the students: there's not even a sprig of willow in any of dining halls! You have to go off campus for some decent food!
3. UAA decides to hedge their bets against UAF next hockey season by recruiting a new netminder who can simply sit down in front of the goal.
4. Yes, UAA's admission standards have slipped a little bit. Still, he had an impressive list of extra curriculars.
5. Yes, I am a bit fuzzy from the lack of sleep. Why do you ask?
6. A moose looks for biologists to netgun and radio collar. 

This is what you get from me when I'm running caffeine and old episodes of Top Gear in the background while I scramble to get everything done in the next two weeks. What would you caption it with?

[Photo Credit]

Not a reccomended Mfg Method

The sign allegedly translates to "Dependable handling of chemical products" (Sadly, I don't speak Dutch). Hat tip to Derek Lowe at In the Pipeline and Keeees (comment #1) for the link to the picture and translation.

One good move

In a move welcomed by educated people the world-over, Google plans on eliminating the capslock from their keyboards. I, for one, welcome this wholeheartedly. While I like having the option of having a capslock on my keyboard, I know that most people out there aren't ready for the awesome power that the capslock brings. I've lost count of the number of office emails I have got that SHOUT AT EVERYONE THROUGHTOUT THE MESSAGE BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T REALIZE THAT TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS NOT COOL.

Next up, we need to invent a keyboard that forces people to use punctuation and capitalization. im really tired of all lowercase emails that dont have any punctuation people seem to think you can tell where sentences begin and end well theyre right but i have better things to do with my time why they think its appropriate is beyond me

The other thing I'd like to see go (mentioned in the article) is getting rid of excessive punctuation. I'm really????????? tired of all of this!!!!!!! Yes, I get you're excited, but is there really a need for 15 of these ??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not claiming my grammar is perfect. But it seems like some people don't even make an effort.

If life was like a political debate...

I can't resist sharing this comic from the always funny, though sometimes NSFW, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

Wing-bat envy

Here in Alaska, we only get senate candidates who 

• go on unemployment, and then argue unemployment should get removed, 
• lie about why they won't release their records, 
• fail to pay their taxes, 
• apply for low-income resident hunting licenses that they aren't qualified for, 
• want to abolish the federal minimum wage,
• apply for medicare money, which they're vehemently against,
• accept farm subsidies which they're vehemently against,
• and who think that the 17th amendment was just a crummy idea because really, what to voters know anyhow?

Well, that and Lisa Murkowski, who should really have her name legally changed to something like "Lisa Smith" for her write in campaign, if she wants any chance in heck. But let's be honest, how boring is that? There's no style. It's just boring old rank-hypocrisy from a self-important group of blowhards who lust after power like I lust after a big bowl of ice cream. There's nothing new or exciting there. We have Palin going around talking about Death Panels, and other forms of verbal diarrhoea, but she's pretty much gone national now. She's the 'States' problem now (sorry guys). Oh, and I've heard rumours we got some other guy running, too.

But Delaware? They have candidates who say that although they dabbled in witch-craft once upon a time, that honestly, they've stopped being a witch. She also denies evolution, and has a strange obsession with... well... topics that are really none of her business. And honestly, that makes our craziest candidates look sane and well adjusted. I guess when people say we should go back to the root of what makes this country great, they mean going back to the 1600s:

New Toys

Yeah, I know I've been hiding for a bit. Hopefully my situation will change soon, but until then, here's something neat I saw in the Tundra Drums: Someone modified a Polaris 6 wheeler to act as a mini-ambulance. I'm surprised no one thought of the idea sooner - now that I see it, it's pretty obvious. The problem is that ambulances can't really work in most villages because of poor roads, or often no roads at all. How do you get a seriously unwell person to the clinic?
Previously, you'd stick someone in the back of a gator or argo, or in the seat of a bigger ATV. If you can run a truck, maybe that might help out, but that's hit and miss. But this, converting a 6 wheeler into an ambulance? It might have some problems in snow, but this is pretty brilliant.

Okay, speaking of ambulances, I can't help but think of a mildly NSFW monologue by Tim Minchin on the subject of ambulances, taking a cab in London, and lipsycing.

Little Bobby Tables strikes again And Intertidal Neatness

For you code geeks out there, this is too funny to pass up. Amid all the stupid that happened in the Swedish Elections viz. nazis (sorry Sweden. :( ), some more anarchical voters subbmited votes for... well, they did a write in vote for an SQL injection attack. :P They were counting on people compiling their vote and entering it as written, so when the vote 'software' hit it, it would think it was a code and treat it as such. Sweden clearly has an educational system that works. ;)

For you non-code geeks, here's some intertidal neatness. :)

The Evolution of Mickey Mouse

A while back I wrote about neoteny in humans, and why most of us can't look at a bucket full of puppies without going "Aww!" It's all rooted in the evolution of the human brain, shaped by the millions of years something resembling Homo has been around. Jerry Coyne, author of the wonderful book "Why Evolution is True" (and author of a blog by the same name) gave his own take on the issue, which you can find here. I strongly recommend you give it a read! In it, he has a wonderful picture showing the neotenic evolution of Mickey Mouse. How could I not reproduce it here?

Notice how Mickey's characteristics keep changing. Gradually, he's become shorter snouted, thicker limbed, large headed and more squat. In short, more like a baby human's form. 'Generations' of drawings have been winnowed down to what we find the most visually appealing, and that turns out to be the most juvenilized version!

Some Observations on UPS et al.

Living in Alaska gets you used to shipping stuff. Whether it's bush orders, or buying speciality parts you can't get in the state, everyone has a go at it eventually. A discussion with an out of state acquaintance on her woes using UPS lead me to a stunning realization: UPS is run by cosmologists! I mean, of course, the physicists who describe the make up of the universe (and the >5% of it that is made of normal matter). This would explain quite a bit.

First, shipping companies seem to work on a different clock than the rest of us, when it comes to scanning in packages. Not GMT, PDT, or anything like that. No, hours can pass in minutes, and minutes can pass in hours. This is what you'd expect from shipping companies who occasionally accelerate close to the speed of light. The opposite effect must stem from the rest of the world, accelerating similarly while the package remains at rest.

Second, if you know where a package is (via a tracking service), you have no clue where it's going. If you know its velocity, you don't know where it is. This is keeping in line with the Uncertainty principle. Very rarely does anyone know exactly where the package is at any moment.

Other quantum effects can be noted in our third line of evidence, in that a package can be said to be delivered, and yet undelivered to the recipient, at the same time. This is keeping in line with the Copenhagen school of quantum mechanics, showing that our package's wave form has not collapsed yet. This is worrisome because until it's observed, the package is both delivered, undelivered, and a Tyrannosaurus rex all at the same time. It's not that the T. rex is dangerous that worries me, but there's a sur-charge for shipping animals and I'd rather not pay it.

If it were observed, it would collapse down to a single state of being either delivered or undelivered (or less probably, the aforementioned Triassic animal). The package is rarely observed, however, because of our second issue - no one knows where the package is. I can only assume this inability to observe it is because they have near perfect information about the package's velocity.

Finally, packages seem to have a temperature, in that the faster they move from ground to plane to wherever, the more they're banged around (no matter how many 'fragile!' stickers you put on it). Packages that are sent over-night arrive looking like the army used them for target dummies, while packages sent two-day merely look like a herd of football players trampled it.

Clearly, the evidence is irrefutable. FedEx and UPS are run by physicists.

It's the new Cornell

I heard this on the radio, and it's too funny not to pass on: Glenn Beck is starting his own "University!"

Now I'm absolutely positive that his scholarly credentials are impeccable, and Universities will be falling over themselves to recruit Beck-U graduates for graduate school.

I find it curious that he thinks the Federalist Papers are a mandate for limited government. I thought the Federalist Papers were actually advocating the larger government, and it was the Anti-Federalists who were wary of the expansion of governmental power. But they largely lost that argument (though they got a few concessions in the mix known as the "Bill of Rights") and nobody likes the losing team, not the least TV pundits.

Is it just me, or does "Beck-U" Sound like a curse? "Beck-U buddy!" "Oh yeah, well "Beck-U in the face!" I think we can all agree that this kind of profanity needs kept away from children (won't somebody think of them?)

This post is a metaphore for something

From the always excellent XKCD. I love this one because growing up, I didn't understand the difference between a simile and an analogy, which they teach you in year 3 or 4 or school (or so I seem to recall). I always thought language is a bit of a funny thing.

I hope you all are having a great 4th Holiday - unless you're not in the US, in which case I hope you're having a nice Monday the 5th. :) I need to get my behind to work, though, to get some things done!

The BP coffee spill

This video is funny because it's true, but would be even funnier if it wasn't quite so true.

Has a little not-safe-for-work language in it (someone says the F word)

Straight from Facebook.

This is true.

Alaskan Astronauts would have brought a blue tarp

Apollo 17. Astronauts are on the moon, riding back from poking at rocks on the moon.
Their moon buggy breaks, along the way.
What do they do?
Fix it with ducttape.

Presidential Perks

George Washington owes 220 years worth of "Overdue" book fines.

The BBC reports that Washington owes $300,000 total.

On 5 October 1789, the first president borrowed two books from what was then the only library in Manhattan - "Law of Nations," a dissertation on international relations, and a volume of debate transcripts from Britain's House of Commons.
George Washington did not even bother to sign his name in the borrower's ledger. An aide simply scrawled "president" next to the title to show who had taken them out.
The two tomes were due back a month later but were never returned and have been accruing late fees ever since. Librarians uncovered the misdemeanour as they were digitising the library's ledger from that time. 

We can't let this man be above the law! Impeach Washington! ;)

Saturday Post!

I normally don't post on Saturday, but I have to share this: Do not eat this Antenna.

Recruitment

What can I say? They know how to make an offer people can't refuse.

Three things

Three ways the LHC could destroy the world, ranked by how silly they are.
I believe that I don't need to add anything there. :)


In other news, Clean Up Day is May 8. To be honest, at the rate snow is melting I think we'll be in garbage wonderland far before then. My neighbour's roof is nearly snowless already, and the road leading to my home is nothing but slush. Given how warm it's been, and how little snow we got to begin with, I think mudseason is here to stay for a bit.

Finally, an observation: I tried to teach a student that things aren't black and white in wildlife management, the other day, but I absolutely failed.

:ducks the rotten fruit:

Happy April foolish day!

A song for dave

For the Australian Tourist Commission:
Come to Australia! (You might accidentally get killed.)



There's another Australia related thing I've been sitting on for a while, about Koala whelping, which I'll write up when I get the time. Or maybe I'll throw it up as an abstract, since I don't have much to add...

AWOL with the turtles

Sorry, I've been AWOL for the last few days, and I'll be AWOL a little longer. Hopefully, things will settle down. Instead, have some turtles. I like turtles!

Turtles!