Things Alaskans like: Lipton Tea

Alaskans really, really like lipton tea. Alaskans drink the stuff by the case load. As discerning connoisseurs of hot beverages, Alaskans expect nothing short of the very best. Coffee shops? Perhaps. Tea houses? No. Over steeped Lipton Tea in your livingroom? Now there's fine dining!

Most lower 48ers have Alaska pegged for a coffee place, and Alaskans certainly do drink the fair share of coffee. Many people can't drink it until the coffee has been through the grounds at least twice, to squeeze out every last morsel of coffee goodness. I'm told this is called "Camp-coffee" by people outside, but Alaskans know better: this is coffee as god intended. If it doesn't slowly erode stainless steel, then it's not done yet.

But what really surprises people outside is how much Alaskans love tea. Not any tea, mind, but Lipton Tea. Apparently, the unwashed heathens south of the border can't buy tea by the crate. How they survive without this most basic item, an Alaskan can't help but guess at.

If you go into someone's house, you will be offered tea. If you don't accept, Alaskan's will know one of two things: a) You're from the lower 48, or b) You're a giant jerk. If you do accept, the tea will be added to boiling water, and then forgotten for a minimum of 10 to 15 minutes. When it's remembered, more water will be added to bring the temperature back to scalding, and it will be offered to you. At this point, your objective is to drink the scalding tea as fast as you can.

If you want to blend in with Alaskans, learn to drink your tea in one gulp, and make sure to only offer your guests very hot tea. If you want to talk to the person for longer, offer them pilot bread too.