Forget the war on Christmas: the sharp folks at the Onion ask has Halloween become too commercialized?
I'm inclined to say yes! Kids these days are so disconnected from this cornerstone of American Holidays that some of them don't know that if you fail to follow the leader as you visit the women, you will fall into another dimension. Imagine that! A whole generation who doesn't understand that not only will they fall into a spectral realm, but that spirits of sickness will roam the town, and the sun is liable to sink into the horizon and never return.
I bet it's the fault of the liberal media. I, for one, refuse to say `happy Halloween.` Instead, I let out a blood curtling cry in the hopes that frightens off any monsters or ghosts that are lingering around the children.